Oscar de la Renta

Is a brilliant man.

I think

Boy Kill Boy
Maximo Park
The Cinematics

all sound quite similar.

fortune

After stuffing our faces at PF Changs, the tray of fortune cookies came out. Everyone's said something to the effect of, "you'll be really productive", "you'll give birth to a baby," "this will be a good month for you," etc.

Mine said:
"An admirer is concealing his affection for you."

No- "he'll reveal it to you in the near future." "He'll leave you flowers on your porch." "He'll call you." "He'll ask you out." No nothing!

If you have any leads... let me know.

PS If it helps, my lucky numbers are 1 3 15 35 . 23

dang

I wouldn't mind it being fall.

pride

I used to pride myself on being the bravest, the boldest, the least likely to scream in a horror film. Well, I have since learned that the case is not so anymore. I recall laughing and smiling while the others around me had chattering teeth and were grabbing each other for comfort. That was me last night, grabbing Sara's hand, screaming at the slightest event. What happened to my wisdom, my cool, my calm?

I watched Silence of the Lambs without flinching. Now I can't watch that or Red Dragon without peeing my pants!

check it

out
Twilight Concert Series

Either Way

Wilco - Either Way

Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will blow away
Maybe I won’t feel so afraid
I will try to understand
Either way

Maybe you still love me
Maybe you don’t
Either you will or you won’t
Maybe you just need some time alone
I will try to understand
Everything has its plan
Either way
I’m gonna stay
Right for you

Maybe the sun will shine today
The clouds will roll away
Maybe I won’t be so afraid
I will understand everything has its plan
Either way


(Just lovely!)

concertos

I feel good about this being a summer of concerts.

I miss good shows. They seem to happen so infrequently as of late, but I did see the Cinematics and they were fantastic. We were the only four girls dancing our little hearts out, and we also got to meet the band (adorable Scottish boys- one of them actually named Scott).

Concert Possibilities:

• Tortoise (June 19th)
• Feist (as previously mentioned)
• Maximo Park (July 20th)
• Cary Brothers (July 19th)
• Bears (August 12)
  

Suggestions?

Feist

Boulder, CO June 22nd

Who's in?

immediate gratification

Our culture has evolved into one with an expectancy for immediate gratification. It seems like there was once a slow paced, patient attitude that has since disappeared. We live in an age of fast food, get a degree in a few months online, microwaves, instant hand sanitizer, internet access everywhere, CliffNotes, overnight shipping, credit cards, drive-through car washes. While these are modern conveniences that I know I appreciate, we've lost some simple beauty that one only experiences in taking time to do things, thinking, observing - not always consuming but creating. Take a minute to enjoy a slower pace or quiet reflection. It feels wonderful.

pool games are fun

"Are we having duck?"
"Delicious!"
"Delicious!"
"Delicious!"

Spoon

GaGaGaGaGa
Listen to the new tracks (Don't You Evah, in particular).

also, sometimes all a girl needs is a phone call from a cute boy

Northern Sky

Northern Sky

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.

I've been a long time that I'm waiting
Been a long that I'm blown
I've been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.

Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.

- Nick Drake

sometimes all a girl needs is a good pep talk

The Wise

I started looking for quotes from Gandhi after watching the amazing film Water. Gandhi's wisdom and influence are felt throughout the film in the beliefs and actions of a particular character, but it is not till the final scene where we finally see Gandhi in person for a brief moment and hear the sheer brilliance from his lips (well, and read it in English subtitles). Inspired by this film, I started searching for quotes by Gandhi, then President Hinckley, and finally, and especially poignant, a quote I've been paraphrasing for a good week now.

Please contribute your favorite(s). Here's what I found and liked:

Mahatma Gandhi

• "My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from god as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at his feet."
• "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
• "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is is very important that you do it."
• "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

President Gordon B. Hinckley

• “This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.” ( “Lord, Increase Our Faith,” Ensign, Nov. 1987, 52–53.)
• "God is weaving his tapestry according to his own grand design. All flesh is in his hands. It is not our prerogative to counsel him. It is our responsibility and our opportunity to be at peace in our minds and in our hearts, and to know that he is God, that this is his work, and that he will not permit it to fail." (“He Slumbers Not, nor Sleeps,” Ensign, May 1983, 5)
• "No man's faith, no man's religion, no religion in all the world can ever rise above the truth." ("Continuing Pursuit of Truth," BYU-Hawaii Commencement, 6/18/83)
• “There is no substitute for virtue. Keep your thoughts virtuous. Rise above the filth that’s all around you in this world and stand tall in strength and virtue. You can do this, and you will be happier for it for as long as you live. God bless you in cherishing, developing, and holding on to this great gift, the quality of personal virtue." (Mission meeting, Salt Lake City, Utah, 18 December 1995)
• "Be grateful. Be smart. Be clean. Be true. Be humble. Be prayerful."
• “A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth,” New Era, Jan. 2001
• "Let us all try to stand a little taller, rise a little higher, be a little better. Make the extra effort. You will be happier."(“The Quest for Excellence,” Ensign, Sept. 1999)

President Thomas S. Monson

• “Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears.” (“That We May Touch Heaven,” Ensign, Nov. 1990, 47)

Nice Notes and Promises

I was looking through some things I've collected over the past few months, and I found this. What a pal! Maybe I'll take him up on the offer.

At Hillery's birthday party, after a good few wackings of the pinata and a few opened promises this was unwrapped. Oh dear me.

Said by J.E.C.

"Any mail?" J.E.C.
"Not much," me.
"No mail; no boyfriend," J.E.C.

it's cool, it's cool to love your family

It's funny how often it is and has been necessary for me to listen to this song. Brainwashing me a little bit anytime I'm feeling the complete opposite.

diving

more Gershwin, please.

post-finals

The post-finals nightmares have begun again.

i'm thinking

my life needs a few more photos. That's a summer goal: more photo taking.

troubled to troublesome

In light of recent events at Virginia-Tech, the media has been covering a huge range of topics dealing directly or indirectly with Cho Seung-Hui. Roommates have come forth, bringing stories of a 23-year old who was difficult to relate to, who received tutoring in English and his writing displayed hate-induced threats to an abusive father; the police received complaints about his harassing girls via instant messaging, the telephone, and in person; he was admitted to a mental hospital in 2005 because he seemed at risk for suicide. All of these behaviors meet the criteria, the checklist, if you will, for a criminal, for a depressed person who becomes a killer, taking his own life and at least 31 others students' lives. To explain just how a 23 year-old man from South Korea could commit such a heinous crime, criminologist Jack Levin from Northwestern University explained how he met the criteria, but that many adolescents and young adults meet the criteria. He concluded by saying something that should be heard by all,

There is one thing that I think is very important to emphasize. We should be caring about people who are troubled long before they become troublesome. We should reach out to people not to punish them, but to give them our concern, our caring, and then we might even prevent a murderer too in the process.
-Jack Levin (April 17, 2007)
How Disturbed People Become Killers (CNN)

Let us not be consumed by the media, by speculation, by unimportant sidenotes; let us move forward and reach out to others, as Jack Levin suggests.

I'm sorry, so sorry, so terribly, terribly sorry

But Doctor Dictionary has been really good, when I check it.

Today's word:

spoonerism \SPOO-nuh-riz-uhm\: the transposition of usually initial sounds in a pair of words. (I became dyslexic just trying to write that)

Ex: The Lord is a shoving leopard ("loving shepherd").

Guilty!

Doctor Dictionary

provided such a great word for the word of today!

abecedarian \ay-bee-see-DAIR-ee-uhn\ noun
1. A person who is learning the letters of the alphabet
2. One engaged in teaching the alphabet
3. Pertaining to the letters of the alphabet
4. Arranged alphabetically
5. Rudimentary; elementary

creep!

I don't care if you're wearing sunglasses. I can still see that you're staring at me.

see it in color

(Thanks Dre - stolen!)

so excited

throat

"Uh oh, my throat is starting to hurt," me.
"Have you been kissing boys?" Evie.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

titles

My most brilliant thoughts come at night, when I rotate positions in my little bed every five seconds, when the sounds on the road once muted are now sounds in my ears, when thoughts are swimming in my head and I'm turning them over and over in completely illogical succession. The house is silent; no one is about in the house, moving chairs, laughing loudly at nextdoor neighbors, or playing video games at ridiculous volumes, because daylight savings didn't affect others the way it did me (and we don't have an extra guitar anymore for Guitar Hero - thank you, Coby). I jolt. These are my thoughts.

Why oh why do we pronounce:

• Mr. = miss-ter
  
• Mrs. = mizzes, so why the 'r'?
• Ms. (my favorite, it clouds the singularity), mizz
• Miss = this one is easy

Think about that one for a minute.

Or

This is what my research tells me (thanks wikipedia)

• Mr. = abbreviation for 'mister,' though the original form is seldom used. Mr. is a term for an older man under the rank of knight who can no longer be called master. The plural form is Messrs - shortened for messieurs (the French form).
  
• Mrs., Ms., Miss = all variants of mistress (French word, again).
  
• Mrs. is now used exclusively for married women. But it once was a title for women who did not qualify for 'dame' or 'lady.'
• Ms. is an ambiguous term, well in terms of marriage. It's pretty clear that she's a woman if she's using Ms. (at least we hope).
  
• Miss indicates that a woman is not married; she is not entitled to a higher title (ha!

So if this interests you at all, there's a plethora of information on wikipedia (and I'm sure a number of other sources).

elephant

This makes me giggle.

spring fever!

jokes are

so much funnier when you get them. Even if it is 7 months later.

Think: tennis balls, John McEnroe, Park City, Sundance, Brokeback Mountain

this is my weakness

Every year these little morsels of delight make an appearance on the shelves my local grocery store, and what can I do? Nothing. I am a victim to their charm, good looks, and smoooooth coercison. Mmmm.

deep smit

Mike Meyers said it best: "I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit."

I don't think

I'll ever get over this.

Especially since Hillery put it all over my desktop.

I get confused

by words like:

• broach

• encroach

• approach

• reproach

and when to use them. Forgive me if I commit such as crime as to misuse them.

Wake Up!

I set my alarm for 7:00AM every weekday for 8AM work or class. My clock is set 10 minutes faster than the real time, so in actuality it goes off at 6:50AM. I do this not to annoy Heidi, although she might think so, but I do it as a little trick to myself. Look at me, I can sleep 40 minutes longer if I like. So I do, in nine minute increments at which point I'm forced to remember to hit the snooze button in my lethargic state.

This morning, the static/classical music radio alarm started going off at some ridiculous hour as Heidi had high-hopes of waking early and studying Arabic. Her actually waking up to do so really only lasted for the first week of school. The three of us that occupied the room the past 6 hours were wriggling and complaining about the alarm.

Back to sleep.

"Heather, turn off your alarm!" Heidi moans.

Back to sleep.

Fur Elise begins sounding from my cellular phone, next to my bed. "Why is she calling at 7AM?" I don't answer.

The Royal Tenenbaum opening theme song (for lack of the official name), begins sounding from Hillery's blue, "toy" phone. "Don't call me for at least an hour!" she says. I can hear my mom yelling, "Well you can just walk home!"

I close my eyes.

Heidi's phone is vibrating loudly. "No, mom. I'm not coming into the office today. I have hour of homework and I'm working at the MPS."

7:20, Fur Elise again. "Mom, I have work and class. I can not pick up your coat from the cleaners till after those things." pause. "No, not before work."

Hillery is buried in her nest of a make-shift bed on the floor, blankets covering the floor and also covering her head. Heidi accidentally kicks her on her way to the bathroom. "Ow!" "I'm so, so, sorry!" she says to Hillery. "I kicked her head," she whispers to me.

Ok. I'm up.

Grocery Shopping

When my dad goes grocery shopping, what he piles onto the counter from his Day's Market run goes something like this:
1. Tomatoes ("I got those tomatoes you asked for.")
2. Spinach
3. About 3 Yoplait yogurts
4. 3 boxes of butter
5. 2 containers of gummy o's - peach and apple flavored ("I thought you might like these." My mom shakes her head.)
6. 4 liters of Soda
7. Berries ("Those are expensive," my mom says.)

"I didn't get very much, just a few things to put in your salad. They were on sale."
"Yeah I'm sure they were really cheap," my mother retorts.

"These were like 69 cents a pound!" my dad says, pulling out a bag of about 20 tomatoes.

5 minutes later
"These were like 69 cents a pound!" he says as he pulls out a bag of 15 apples.

I love

Feist. New album, what what? and sample of a new song. myspace/feist

I Would Recommend

A few songs in the likeness (sort of) of the Beatles:
Of Montreal - City Bird
The Magic Numbers - This Love
Franz Ferdinand - Eleanor Put Your Boots On
Of Montreal - Miss Blonde, Your Papa Is Failing
Elliott Smith - Color Bars

Please, contribute! I'm working on a playlist.

-isms

"What is it that I actually put into a digital camera and the photos are stored?" Dr. Crandall
"A memory card," I respond.
"Oh..." and he walks off, wiggling his fingers, baffled by this bit of information.

local shows

I might be done with most local shows for a long time. The glitter isn't there anymore, just a bunch of high schoolers wearing chest-baring V-neck t-shirts, skinny jeans, leggings, and ugly boots. I have no desire to spend $5 every time I want to be sociable.

why is it

That everytime you mention to a guy that you might be going on a mission they get taken aback. You can see them physically jolt. Any reason?

The Most Important Artists & Albums of My College Life/Or Life in General

Nate Barnes, after having mega-death rock or something of the like on his facebook profile, began updating his Music list with albums that have had a major influence on him. He inspired this blog.

The Most Important Artists & Albums of My College Life/Or Life in General (in no particular order)

1. Coldplay - Parachutes, Rush of Blood to the Head

2. Feist - Let It Die, Monarch

3. Doves - Some Cities, Lost Souls, The Last Broadcast

4. Spoon - Gimme Fiction

5. Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful

6. Aimee Mann - Lost in Space

7. Broken Social Scene - Broken Social Scene

8. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism, The Photo Album, We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes, Plans (though I somewhat regret to say so)

9. Dido - No Angel, Life for Rent

10. Elbow - Leaders of the Free World, Asleep in the Back

11. The Postal Service - Give Up

12. Radiohead - Ok Computer, The Bends

13. Stars - heart, Set Yourself On Fire (a good chunk of it)

14. Sufjan Stevens - Come On, Feel the Illinoise!

15. Of Montreal - The Sunlandic Twins

16. Youth Group - Skeleton Jar

17. Magnet - On Your Side, The Tourniquet

18. Kings of Convenience - Riot On An Empty Street, Quiet is the New Loud

19. Sigur Ros - ( )

20. The Arcade Fire - Funeral

21. Band of Horses - Everything All The Time

22. Beck - Odelay, Guero, The Information

Tell me your favorite albums and why you like them or why they're important to you.

everyday

everyday feels like sunday, baby. everydady feels so good.

West Indian Girl

I think this band might like drugs. Their name is the same as a type of acid that was popular in the 1960s. These are their song titles on their self titled album from 2004

1. Trip
2. What Are You Afraid Of
3. Hollywood
4. Miles From Monterey
5. Dream
6. Northern Sky
7. Visions
8. Still Lost
9. Leave Tonight
10. Green
11. Lay Down

But the music is fantastic. Give it a listen.

Happy Youth Group Album Release Date

think I'm in love

but it makes me kind of nervous to say so.

mysterious samurai

something out of a comic book.

it's much too cold

when your snot is freezing on your way up to campus.

just say no

i am a man

the chupacabra says:
are you a man or a monkey?
heathen says:
debatable
heathen says:
what do you think?
the chupacabra says:
give me three for the argument and three against, and i will reckon and reason, and tell you the judgement
heathen says:
1. I like human beings. None of this monkey-attraction business.
2. I can't do sign language.
3. My nose and mouth are not combined into one mound.
-----------------------------------------------------------
For:
1. My ears are somewhat detached from my head.
2. I'd like to learn sign language.
3. I do think monkeys are cute.
the chupacabra says:
number one from the against list and number 3 from the for list cancel eachother out
liking to learn is overpowered by not being able to learn
so you are up one on the against
heathen says:
hm
the chupacabra says:
your mouth and nose are un-monkey like, while your ears are quite monkey like
so overall, you are a man.

trash bin

If you were to examine the contents of my trash bin at work you would find the following:

1. Kleenex - in an abundance too! Blast holiday/wintertime/recurring colds and possibly bronchitis.
2. The World's Best Chocolates' Wrappers - yes'm, my mother bought an entire container of these delicious chocolates from all over the world from Costco. So good.
3. Remnants of out-dated or uninteresting lists of things that I make at work on 1/4 size sheets of paper in hot pink, dirty-sky blue, and white.
4. Part four of throwing away the remnants of a salad Amy's mom brought her at 10:30am which she could not eat then because it was too early to eat a salad. Thus, she put the salad on top of the hard drive tower for later; though later came the next day when I discovered the Wendy's salad had rotted overnight. (In the trash is only the bags the salad came in, thank goodness)
   
5. Oh and strands of hair that I apparently shed in every possible location.
   

Aren't you glad you don't have to find these items years later and wonder who this person was, what they did, why they were eating all of this stuff, and when? It's all catalogued on blogger.com. Ha, ha you lucky archaeologists!

in transit

1. An OK Ikumi Song
2. Everyone I know (including myself)
3. The package that is supposed to arrive with Christmas presents

this deserves a post all of its own

PS Listen to Sufjan Stevens' - "Holy, Holy, Holy" and "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" in the Christmas EP Set

does anybody else extremely dislike

the new ads on websites that blowup when you accidentally run your cursor over them or that make ridiculously loud dance music? Advertising has hit a new low.

walks to campus

It's amazing who you might meet.

Nice Guys Don't Finish Last

"There is a widely held stereotype that, in the interpersonal attraction sweepstakes, 'nice guys finish last' with women. Supposedly, women want a man who will take charge and be dominant; they are less interested in someone who is kind, caring, and gentle. According to one group of researchers, nothing could be further from the truth. In three successive studies, they found that men who expressed altruism or who were described as considerate, cooperative, kind, and sympathetic were rated by weomen as more physically and sexually attractive, socially desirable, and desirable as dates than were men who appeared less caring or agreeable. By contrast, men's dominance alone did not affect women's attraction to them, although dominance did interact with men's prosocial qualities to increase attraction under some conditions (p432 Hilary M. Lips - Sex & Gender: An Introduction 5th ed)."

oh look, double blog. happy days are here again!

As an ode to the last day of class being over, here's a list of things I like:

• Friends (new and old; returning, staying, and leaving)
• Caitie is back! She's got me snapping again, and Amy and me back to our usual routine.
• Rachel VanWagoner- distant relative and smoothie friend. Good times in the past week, but leaving soon :(

• My family- goodness, I like my family.

• My mother brings me a plastic bag full of oranges, clementines, cookies, rice pudding, and echinachea, now she's talking about a family orchestra for Christmas and singing hymns before every meal. She bought Heidi a new clarinet- an instrument she hasn't touched since she was 13- for the family orchestra so Heidi can't say she doesn't have anything to play.
• My dad- "Well, she can't take it back now." regarding the Clarinet.Heidi- "This is a Christmas surprise like finding out I have cancer!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

• I have seen Scott, Amy-sister-in-law, and baby Abby more often than I probably deserve, and I think they're fantastic and oh so cute. Abby is massive and growing like crazy. She's wearing 12 month clothing at 8 months, and she smiles like heaven.
• Sisters- we're essentially the same person in a little bit of an altered form
• Heidi, the uber chic, wears earrings that look like pasta
• Hillery, the uber grandma, vintage, crazy-thing

• Little-boy-Ben who's not so little anymore, picks up Hillery and me in Heidi's car, though he's ridiculously sick and takes us to Jamba Juice even though he doesn't want anything. That boy is a speed demon.
• Extended family- ridiculously quirky but darling and know how to play some mad games.

• Foreign films and Film Series- man, I'm getting giddy just thinking of all the ones I get to watch this break.
• The new house- I'm planning all sorts of parties and festivities.
• New Years Eve: Scott's birthday and Great Gatsby/1920s/ PLUS Dance Party

• All the gifts that will be coming in the mail to distribute (or that won't because a ton of them aren't coming till after Christmas).
• New winter coat (but it's for Christmas, so I have no knowledge of it- except that I paid for half of it.)
• Christmas- even though I feel like I've lost the glimmer and glam and sometimes even the whole spirit of it, Thanksgiving was fantastic. What a lovely break. I plan on making this holiday just as grand. Thank goodness for family and even family craziness. It wouldn't be a holiday without some huge fight, makeup, then playing games.
• Reading and not feeling guilty about it (ie realizing I should be doing homework).
• Music I like (Christmas- only the good stuff, and otherwise- Neko Case is so hot right now).
• Two and a half weeks of playing (and a little working!)
  

how many quotes can we get from his mouth?

"If I'd stared at her face a little earlier in the semester I'd be macking on her after class today," guy in qotd and pointers to a friend of mine.

quote of the day

"I like when you wear blue jeans because they match your blue eyes," guy addressed in Pointers.

one thing I do like

Space Age Songs:
Beck - Soldier Jane (The Information)
Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien (Ok Computer)
Beck - Movie Theme (The Information)
Earth Then Titan - Alvin
Aimee Mann - Today's the Day (Lost in Space)

In fact, a lot of the new Beck album sounds like Space, which I think is cool.

And I'm not quite sure what this is, but I stumbled upon it in my search for a space age picture. It seems like it might cool: Space Age Pop a go-go

If you have an wonderful suggestions (or even mediocre) for cool spaceage songs, please... leave one.

it turns out

that bad posture might be good posture.

Slouching

aren't you glad

when the stars align for someone else. And that someone happens to be someone whose phone calls you've been avoiding.

milk

I am by no means a guitar player. But I've been messing around with Andrea's, and I started plucking out this song on Sunday that I could not identify. Despite my questions to roommates, I came no closer to finding out what it was. I assumed I would forget the song, but yesterday when I picked up the guitar it came out again.

And, I remembered what it was. So now I can play this song along to my stereo.

Kings of Leon - Milk

thinking, acting. whoops.

Checking facebook at 8:10 this morning I reviewed the past day/night's activities on stalker-feed. Two of my guy friends had just added a guy I'd met over the weekend. One with whom I had an extensive conversation about music. I quickly clicked on his profile, scrolled to his music taste to see if what he had told me was true. Listed were bands I considered good: The White Stripes, Muse, Gosling (eh, don't know them), the Sounds, Gnarls Barkley. Nothing like the Panic! At the Disco and My Chemical Romance that this same boy had claimed he liked before. I automatically clicked on, send message. "Lies!" I wrote and sent immediately. A thought at the back of my mind surfaced, maybe this was not the very same guy I met on Saturday night that accused me of being a neo-Goth for my music taste. But I promptly shoved it back down.

Your message was sent, highlighted in yellow. I was a little thrilled with myself for making a quick decision, but decided to examine his profile nonetheless. Clicking on the link to his pictures I scrolled through each. A familiar face entered them. The same girl whose profile I visited once or twice on myspace when my ex-boyfriend told me his girl-woes. This guy was the ex-boyfriend of my ex-boyfriend's current love interest, not the same guy I "agreed to disagree with" for a few hours and throughout Oliver Twist. Return to send message: "Whoops! Scratch that."

There's something to that thinking before you act. Or looking at facebook photos before you send people messages.

6666

At 12:33pm I received my 6666th visitor to my myspace. It was Heidi. And get this: she is 6 for speed dial on my cellular phone.

dog food

I swear someone is eating dog food in the department. The microwave reeks of it.

postcards from Italy

I wouldn't mind one.

Beirut - Postcards from Italy

basket

After sushi, compliments of the oh-so-kind David, we pedaled up that incline to stalk yet another- house. Or just the house I'm moving into. We passed its driveway and turned back around to pass it once again, when what did my eyes behold-- a white basket, identical to Hillery's. "It must be fate," she said. I picked it up and assembled its parts. "What a waste of a perfectly good [bicycle basket]." (I'll give you a quarter if you can fill in those brackets with the correct quote). "They must not have wanted it. They just left it here."

So with the encouragement of my wee-sister, I have a newly acquired, free-in-some-way-or-other bicycle basket, identical to the one attached to Hillery's bike. I'm going to feel really bad if I find out one of my future roommates had a bicycle basket identical to mine.

Yeah. Really bad.

Romantic Hair

Hillery tells me I have romantic hair. What does that even mean?

sometimes

All you need is a good old fashioned dance party. When I move into my new house, there will be more to come. We can fit more than 6 people in the living room.

pointers

What should've been a study session for Psychological Statistics turned into a full-blown battle of the sexes. 6 girls on 1 boy. Our male friend- 6'5, skinny, well-dressed, buys pizza for the class, stand-up comedian, likes playing the piano, "macking", and supposedly likes classy girls- decided to study in the same room in which he learned the material- where we were having a study group. From talking about the central limit theorem to Castellano Spanish, we somehow got onto his tendency to pick up not-so-classy girls. Here are a few of the issues discussed:

1. Men in LDS culture are made to feel inferior to women- ie. general conference always praising women, pointing out problems with men: pornography, abuse, etc. As well as the mentality that it is necessary for men to serve missions in order for them to be at the "same level" as women.
   
2. It is not bad to "mack" on girl. Kiss as many people as you want. In the end you'll be happy with whomever you settle down with.
   
3. It isn't using people if all you want to do is make-out with them. The earlier a girl gives you that, the shorter the relationship. But it's not using someone for physical gratification. You've already won the prize.
   
4. Make women feel inferior, because they'll try so much harder to build themselves up to impress you (this is proven in most contemporary dating books). Those who don't fall for it are smart- or just hate you and think you're a horrible, male chauvinist. And those who do, you've got a nice short-term relationship (good for "macking").
   
5. Stupid girls are a turn off (although following the last conversation/fight they had she said, "Shut up. Dumb A**" and walked away. This same girl was "classy" according to him.
6. Every guy is looking for a classy girl. (Although he told all of the girls in the group that they were classy- let me state, he would never ask one of us out.)
   

A few definitions that need clarification:

• classy: someone who is confident, intelligent, educated, kind, well-rounded, orderly, elegant, and polite.
• Definition does not include ill-manners such as ditziness, skankiness, language that proves inability to communicate feelings, williness to "mack" at any moment, and intelligence of a 4 year old

• macking: an activity performed to a) feel secure about ones sexuality b) in a no- or little-committment relationship (if it can be considered that) c) boost self-esteem (which might work until you receive 4 am phone calls requesting the same activity. No conversation, no concern, just feeling lusted after for a good hour or so- but at least someone needs/wants you)

Heather's rebuttal:

1. Men have blamed, time and time again, this "natural man" idea. One core belief in our faith, is that we are able to overcome the natural man and with that, natural tendencies. We are capable of control.
   
2. There is a double standard that exists for men and women. Women seen as the "gatekeepers" of their sexuality are supposed to keep out unwanted advances, whereas men are "unable to control themselves." Socialization? or Biology? I go for socialization with an ever-so-slight hint of biology.
   
3. Any behavior, dating or otherwise, that is degrading to women and makes them feel inferior is inappropriate for any reason.
   
4. If you're looking for a classy girl and your actions indicate otherwise, don't expect them to come crawling. We leave that for the ones you're dating.
   
5. Your actions are a tell-tale sign of the kind of person you are and the kind of person you want to date.
   

chivalry

Chivalry is not dead, and thank goodness for it.

Seriously

Jaffa cakes are good. They are one of those things that you find a little strange: a sponge cake covered in dark chocolate with a little smear of orange jelly inbetween. But somehow the texture of sponge cake is like a squishy vanilla wafer. The dark chocolate is a fine choice. The jelly is a little odd, but gives just the perfect bit of flavor. Till you realize it's just a delightful little biscuit. Just like Digestives and HobNobs.

But now I'm missing London. That big, beautiful, turns-your-snot-black city. With its take-out Indian and tube stops around the corner. Double decker red bus stops down the street from organic cafes. Overhearing little French children in their uniforms on the underground. Adorned pastries that are secretly put on the tab of a friendly Scot. Ewan McGregor running past me inbetween shows in Piccadilly Circus. Market shopping. Cheap-sequined Indian items after watching singing, dancing, extended music video- Bollywood films. Being packed onto the train with attractively dressed people on their way home from work. Getting lost in Chelsea Finding a second home and a mother to doctor us with good food and warm beds. Sitting on the roofs of buildings. Sneaking onto locked balconies. Quality time on bus rides with baby bull terriers and furniture store owners. Walks to the National Film Theatre for James Dean movies. All African wards in the shady part of town. Record stores and used book sales on the sidewalk. Men with no legs rolling on carts to hit on us on park benches by the Thames. Giggling while reading Bridget Jones in public places. Watching, jaw-dropped at the ridiculously skinny Jim Broadbent in bellbottoms and long-haired wig. Stuffing my face with biscuits. Walking and walking till I could walk no further. Buying exotic fruit and cheese. Spending ridiculous amounts of money on things and feeling like it was no matter, the currency was imaginary. Midnight bus rides with the lit city, while hugging my bag at my side. Confidence on my own as I walked down the streets of a city that fulfilled me. City-walkers hurrying by with thoughts of their cats, watering the plants, the big fashion expo, meeting friends at the pub. Never sleeping, traffic always moving, lights in my barred window. Freedom in confinement.

Billie Holiday - Easy to Love

consider this

an addition. (not to the family. to the list... sorry)


Ok, this is borderline cheese to the cheese they sold to you at the book fair as your seven year old self. This or those car posters. Man, I even liked those.

Man oh man.

eating chocolate at 8 in the morning can lead to this:
(complete with bad captions)

Daschund dreams (minature)

Weimaraner wants (medium)

Great Diggity Dane desires (enorMous)

masquerade

There's nothing bad about a reason to dress up.

yo-yo

Until I found one in the office today, I forgot that yo-yo's existed. Let's just say that I'm sometimes an embarassment to the department.

I keep smelling smoke. Is there a fire?

intersections are great meeting places

I ran into an FHE brother today. He was chatting on his cell-phone as we crossed 7th north, chipper as usual. To his apartment he went, and me to school. In the middle of the intersection he said, "One sec," to his phone. He looked up at me in his standard sweater, collared shirt, jeans, and vans and said with his semi-Texas, semi-Australian-left-over-from-the-mission accent, "Hey, how are you? I'm sorry we had to meet in the middle of the street." I think I've found someone who apologizes as much as me, but maybe not to snowmen that you run over in Mariokart (we'll leave that one to me).

I've caught him dancing down the stairs, walking with his pelvis thrust forward in the the Provo library, and nose-flirting with the wall during the FHE lesson. When you confront him about it, "Oh, I didn't realize anyone was watching."

happy halloween indeed

Walking to the ASB, my eyes caught sight of a black, cloaked giant walking some distance from me. He stood about 8 feet tall, head bouncing along as he walked. Next to him was a 20some guy with a camcorder, recording every motion and the reactions from the fellow campus-walkers to this large fellow. I started giggling, smiling at people with whom I would have usually avoided eye-contact. Moving at a very slow, deliberate pace he made his way towards the library. People walking in the opposite direction would look up puzzled, while thinking some trivial thought about their boyfriend or engineering homework. Squirming they would head the opposite direction or maybe return the bow from the cloaked-being with a clumsy, confused bow. Thumping he walked down the stretch from the JFSB to the HBLL with me following, giggling all the way on my simple errand.

jumble

Vibrating phone in my backpack. "Please don't let it be my mom, please don't let it be my mom." We'd already had an unpleasant phone call about how unappreciative and my inadequacies, all covered by 7:45am. But it's 8:34am now, and it's not my mother ringing in. I sneakily and guiltily pull the phone to my ear. The office is dead, like usual.

"Hello..." I say hastily.
"Hey, were you asleep?"
"No, I'm at work."
"Oh... I'm calling because I wanted to let you know you were right."
"Huh...?"
"I finally realized it, but you are so right about it all. I may have an entire family that hates me, but I'm so glad I know."

I've been thinking about him lately. Just when he appears in photos or recently sent text messages or Hillery sees him at Pita Pit.

"What are you talking about?"
"I just wanted to let you know you were right about the whole 15 year old situation."

He called me quite a few Saturdays back telling me he had no plans, and asked me what I was doing. I was dating someone at the time, but I love and miss this kid and like usual I made a spot for him so I invited him to a family ward activity. Following square dancing and potluck food, he explained a saga that had taken new direction since the summer as I loaded my car with laundry. It had become a situation entangled in religion, inspiration, and trust. He told me the story as we sat on opposite ends of my kitchen table. I listened to him, but all the while tension formed as I felt he had been manipulated and brain-washed. My heart was beating, my jaw dropping, as I tried to think over this very complicated issue, rooted in an idea backed by people he loves and respects who had advised him quite differently than I had or would. I sat the whole time tense as I waited for a moment to explain. Honking repeatedly, a car indicated its desire to exit the one-way driveway to my parking lot. He ran down the stairs to move his car, me following as the conversation was cut to a mere 30 seconds. With little closure and an anxious driver ready to exit, he shouted, "trust me," and jumped into his car.

I didn't speak with him for over a month, by that point I had gone through a breakup unbeknownst to him. He didn't pick up the phone. I missed his phone call. He texted me about his visits to someone in his church. He invited me to his concert. I had a bridal shower. He invited me to a movie. I invited him to a concert. I missed his phone call. I haven't seen him for over nearly two months. He calls me at 8:34am on a Monday morning.

"You were so right." It echoes in my head. "I feel like I've been a bad friend. And I miss seeing you."

It's about this time last year where we shared a pashmina to keep our teeth from chattering on a picnic bench in the dark canyon. We spoke of long-distance lovers, London, and perception with Barnes & Noble hot chocolate and pumpkin cheesecake in our stomachs. Shivering as we realized we had nothing figured out. What good is being right when you're still lonely?

content vs. contention

con‧tent(1)  [kon-tent] –noun
1. Usually, contents.
a. something that is contained: the contents of a box.
b. the subjects or topics covered in a book or document.
c.the chapters or other formal divisions of a book or document: a table of contents.
2. something that is to be expressed through some medium, as speech, writing, or any of various arts: a poetic form adequate to a poetic content.
3. significance or profundity; meaning: a clever play that lacks content.
4. substantive information or creative material viewed in contrast to its actual or potential manner of presentation: publishers, record companies, and other content providers; a flashy Web site, but without much content.
5.that which may be perceived in something: the latent versus the manifest content of a dream.
6. Philosophy, Logic. the sum of the attributes or notions comprised in a given conception; the substance or matter of cognition.
7. power of containing; holding capacity: The bowl's content is three quarts.
8. volume, area, or extent; size.
9. the amount contained.
10. Linguistics. the system of meanings or semantic values specific to a language (opposed to expression).
11. a. Mathematics. the greatest common divisor of all the coefficients of a given polynomial. Compare primitive polynomial.
b. any abstraction of the concept of length, area, or volume.
[Origin: 1375–1425; late ME (< AF) < ML contentum, n. use of neut. of L contentus (ptp. of continēre to contain), equiv. to con- con- + ten- hold + -tus ptp. suffix]

con‧tent (2)  [kuhn-tent] –adjective
1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
2. British. agreeing; assenting.
3. Archaic. willing. –verb (used with object)
4. to make content: These things content me. –noun
5. the state or feeling of being contented; contentment: His content was threatened.
6. (in the British House of Lords) an affirmative vote or voter.
[Origin: 1400–50; late ME < MF < L contentus satisfied, special use of ptp. of continēre; see content1]

—Related forms
con‧tent‧a‧ble, adjective
con‧tent‧ly, adverb
con‧tent‧ness, noun

—Synonyms 4. appease, gratify. See satisfy.
—Antonyms 4. dissatisfy. –noun

con‧ten‧tion  [kuhn-ten-shuhn] –noun
1. a struggling together in opposition; strife.
2. a striving in rivalry; competition; contest.
3. strife in debate; dispute; controversy.
4. a point contended for or affirmed in controversy.
[Origin: 1350–1400; ME (< AF) < L contentiōn- (s. of contentiō), equiv. to content(us), ptp. of contendere to contend (con- con- + tentus, var. of tēnsus; see tense1) + -iōn- -ion]

—Synonyms 1. conflict, combat. 3. disagreement, dissension, debate, altercation.
—Antonyms 3. agreement.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

over the hill

My blog has reached the 40 mark... which coincides with the ridiculousness of my craving for a certain song by the Eagles- Desperado. After listening to Clementine by the Decemberists (I also had an urge to listen to I Don't Mind, which I don't have on the work computer so to Pandora I went) I located the song on dogpile, Desperado (live) and gave it a listen. Oh for mid-life-crisis cowboys.

The Eagles - Desperado (live)

roomy

Roomy is good for things like houses but not for shoes.

oh and another thing...

Red is such a pleasing color. I think I'll use more of it.

bicycle rides

If you haven't already noticed, bicycles are in. They went out of style for maybe 12 years, in that period where you had to get rides to the mall from your mom or where you cautiously pulled a U turn from the right lane instead of the left on your driving test (whoops!). Well the days of parental escorts are over, so is living off their kitchen's supply of food (mostly that one, I still accept cookies and peaches). Onto independence. And by independence I mean bicycle rides to the botany pond to feed the ducks and bicycle rides to South Provo to bask in the glory that is early 1900s architecture (I'm not expert, it could be any year of architecture and I wouldn't know). But these days the weather is getting chilly, and it may require a sweater and a fall-weather coat. You might want to sit on the bench that says "Sit-a-spell" on 5th East. Bring your sister (or just a friend) along and tell each other secrets neither of you can hear. Admire the leaves and ride like you used to before you became too cool for bicycles.

WOD: perfidy\pur-fuh-dee\- the act of violating faith or allegiance; violation of a promise or vow; faithlessness; treachery. (this word had nothing to do with the blog but it was the word of the day)

mahgarita

I'm convinced that mahgarita pizza is about as good as pizza gets. It can be ordered all over Europe (as Ellie tells me she survived off of it) to the quaint pizzeria off University Parkway next to the futuristic Pudding on the Rice (but let's save that for another blog). The Bostonian pizza maker, in his thick accent greets you, making his pizzas in the oven just behind the counter, sauces created right in the restaurant, fresh ingredients, the smell of fresh crusts and garlic (Gahlic is Godliness- as he would say). Nick, of Nicolitalia's, knew us as regulars last winter. We declared Wednesday nights qua pizza night. Every Wednesday night, without fail, we entered the glass doors into the sponge-painted restaurants, dim lighting, sound of the Crooners, and the smell of fresh pizza.

My month-of-vegetarianism has created dilemma's for me in restaurants. The usual items I order are not vegetarian friendly. I've resorted to other options, that are surprisingly amazing. One of these is the before-mentioned mahgarita pizza with its fresh roma tomato slices. I ordered a personal pizza last night which came to grand total of about $4.87. With the brilliant blend of gahlic, fresh roma tomatoes, and fresh mozarella. Perfection. Give it a try and your tastebuds won't be disappointed. Vegetarian or otherwise.

qua\KWAY; KWAH\ preposition: in the capacity or character of; as.

elevator up

Sometimes I wish I were an obstreperous person when the elevator doors open to one woman who stops the elevator after its moved two floors. Stepping onto the already packed elevator with nearly the entire panel lit up, she presses the button for next floor. And I think... which department is on floor four? Which department is on floor five? Oh, they're both nursing.

Elevator up.

WOD: obstreperous\uhb-STREP-uhr-uhs\ adj: 1)noisily and stubbornly defiant; unruly, 2) noisy, clamorous, or boisterous.

progression

I had a dream last night (or this morning as I got to sleep in) that Heidi was getting married. Not just a cultural hall, hide the basketball hoops with fake ivy, marriage. No, a 10,000 dollars one complete with a swing band, hot pink bridesmaid dresses, and a huge reception center (that still kind of resembled a gym). Heidi didn't wait. She has always told me how she needs to know someone for at least 6 months to a year before she marries them, but she waited only 2 months or so. I was so happy for her though, and I knew it was right. But there was a twinge of jealousness.

The more I think about marriage the more it scares me. I can't imagine so many things that are happening now without the person I want to spend my life and eternity with, but I also can't imagine having that someone who wants me all of the time and who thinks as highly of me as I think of them. I'm stubborn. I don't give in. I fight about silly, trivial things. I'm a wreck. I'm a stress case most days. I love and hate people. I become easily annoyed. I talk all the time. My mind is always stuck on one issue. I'm insecure. I never feel like anything is good enough. I'm stiff. I say too much. I'm skeptical. I'm hopeful. I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm a cynic. I don't even know what to make of myself. I feel like I could always do better or be better. But I suppose that's life. You realize your insecurities, but you love people regardless. You begin to mature and give up things that are trivial and annoy you, or you deal with them in the best way possible. Marriage is no small matter, and I find myself and others pressured into something that has both temporal, physical, spiritual, and eternal significance. It is not a light decision, and it is not a light commitment.

I look to certain couples as exemplars. Living together and loving each other in sincere and honest ways. It is these couples who make me giddy with anticipation about the ups and downs of a partnership, and I just love the purity of a relationship that is both hip and spiritual (those two don't go together very often). When I find it, I feel like I'll know (like every musical, Disney movie, and romantic comedy says). There's still a lot left for me to accomplish, be it on my own or with someone else.

WOD: exemplar- 1) a model or pattern to be copied or imitated, 2) a typical or standard specimen, 3) an ideal or model type, 4) a copy of a book or text

fashionista

In an effort to a) increase vocabulary b) remember the words with which I am trying to increase my vocabulary c) to make use of my dictionary.com Word of the Day emails d) to write in my blog nearly every day I have decided, in a revolutionary move, to use my word of the day, daily in my blog. Just inserting it somewhere in there will do. The definition will follow at the end of the entry (if it is necessary).

I might have a fetish with shopping. Accessorizing being one of my biggest weaknesses. I am no fashionista- but I do love to shop. My pickiness does not extend to only shopping at high-end stores like Nordstrom, pulling on only Rockin' Republic jeans (this is Provo, afterall. Our high-end is pretty low-end). I like any quality merchandise, regardless of location. So you might locate me at D.I. on any given evening or perhaps on a Saturday afternoon, weeding through the mess of frocks and classic style jeans. The brilliant thing about D.I. is, you never know what you'll find amidst the junk from decades past- it may give you a good giggle; it may be the very item you've been looking for for years. My favorite is the few tchotchkes you can locate after digging through the piles of discarded jewelry, once the wandering children have left the plastic watches and heart-shaped lockets for the rubber boots or board games. Take for instance the 80s earrings- perfectly vintage (yes, I think they've reached that status), in every color. Amy had it down to a science with one hand grabbing the jewelry, placing it in the cart if it was good or in a discard basket if it was bad. A half an hour later I came out with a gold and brown, flower-trimmed bangle, intricate square clip-on-earrings, shiny, pale green, rectangular shell earrings, and a gold, flower-shaped brooch. Oh the wonders of D.I.

This feels somewhat incomplete, but I feel done. And word of the day use, successful.

tchotchke (CHOCH-kuh)- a trinket, a knickknack.

attic windows

In this little attic apartment of mine there are three computers. Two that work, neither belong to me, and the one that does not (it belongs to me and sometimes it will play music if you can trick it into thinking a cd is going to be played and then secretly playing a playlist- but no music library; it can't think that hard). I am often caught sneaking into Amy's room to use the internet that may or may not be emitting rays of service. So the six of us, all of whom like to use these blasted contraptions that suck up all my time and spit out little messages on myspace, are all wanting to use one computer at some time or another. Some of us are a little more needy, checking our friend accounts repeatedly throughout the day, some just want a friendly chat with friends back home. I like both of those options so I can often be found waiting in line for the computer.

Today, I have the use of the non-mac computer, Katie's. It's a speedy little demon, it usually has a wireless connection, and it has this amazing view of the apartments to the west of us (about 10 feet away) out of a little secret window that extends about 3 feet in length and 1 foot in width directly in front of the keyboard. The paint is spread thin in some spots and on the glass in others, semi-painted nails are protruding from the wood that is warped and cracking, and there are spiderwebs extend in multiple corners with the prey that's entered through little cracks in the window. A thin rice-white checkered drape hangs awkwardly over a wooden rod attached with a large safety pin. But I like the bit of light that comes in, even though the view is white brick and 60s architecture; I can see bits of the remaining green foliage and twisting branches with a bit of non-descript sky. This weather just won't make up its mind. Sometimes its nice to have a change of scenery.

Yesterday, I switched it up. I got out of work with an hour before my first and only class of the day. Finding a bench to strattle outside the Clyde, I pulled out the monotonous Physical Science text, my ipod, and began an attempt at studying. The sun was shining on my red sweater, the ipod was choosing brilliant songs in succession-

Her Disappearing Theme- Broken Social Scene
Know How- Kings of Convenience
Punk as F&*% (a bit inappropriately titled for a song with no swearing)- American Analog Set
Agaetis Byrjun- Sigur Ros

and I felt the sunlight changing my mood by the second. The perfect temperature for an autumn day, little social interaction although people were scattered all over the sidewalk, a shout and a wave from Meg in her daring-high-heeled boots as she scurried to work so she wouldn't be late, my ipod and me with the glorious voices of my favorite artists. A bicyclist was swerving back and forth like a 4th grader with no obstacles, just the blacktop and his tires in glorious friction. He'd soon be flying down a hill with the gradual gratification that comes as you pick up speed and then reach the maximum.

The day flew as they so often do, and I found myself at the IC in the blackened theater on a Friday night. I've wanted to be there for weeks and weeks; it opened and then the time never opened up for me to go. But my season opened with the Dutch film Egg. Just under 58 minutes it captured the awkwardness of relationships, be they female-male, mother-child, neighbor-neighbor, townsfolk-individual. It was absolutely lovely. I found myself squirming with awkward situations, smiling at the birth of puppies, and laughing all along with the loveliness that is life. And I realize it's up and down, up and down, and sometimes stationary but life is often too perfect to not enjoy secret windows, moments with headphones, waves from friends, and international films.

i could use

a swim right now
a returned phone call
another teacupful of spumoni ice cream
some determination to do homework
a fast-forward to a week from now
3 chapters of my Psychology of Gender text book read
some more insight on being ecologically sound
patience
a pleasant surprise
my long lost Caitie
communication
a long weekend
a big, beautiful city
some satisfaction

I'm addicted

Broken Social Scene

Sometimes there are just brilliant cds that hit you at the perfect time. You listen on repeat, drive your family members mad by the repetition, and still no sweeter sound could enter your ears. This is broken social scene for me. It's the soundtrack to the city, a city where I wish I were. It's blasting in my ipod; I've imported it onto the computer at work; it's in my cd player at home; I'm playing it through my ipod on the stereo in the car. I can't escape it. If I'm not listening to it I'm singing it in my head or out loud. It satisfies and satisfies and brings me back for more. And I'm back again.